A Fragment of Time

  For several days I've been in an upbeat mood and not coincidentally I haven't had much to write.  I've really begun to enjoy writing daily and I am proud of some of the thoughts I have conveyed. I don't want these feeling only expressed when I am feeling cynical or ominous. For this reason, I am going to push through some of these blogs in hope of developing a supplemental buoyant writing ability. 

       I stared in the mirror on Saturday and for the first time I could tell I was older. It's so hard to gauge aging by looking into a mirror.  I generally think I look the same as when I was 18, minus the hair. Without pictures I would still think I was a kid. My parents have a similar effect. I have the illusion they've been the same age my entire life and I have never been able to conceptualize their personalities and priorities during different time period in their lives.  I don't ever want to forget how I felt during different time periods.

    Aging has luckily never plagued my thoughts until recently. I've obsessed over body image but never age. I've always had the mentality that great things will happen at the proper time. However, I've always fantasized about these events happening in my twenties.  My descending twenties may explain the sense of urgency I've experienced lately. I feel internal pressure to begin a successful career, write classic blogs and lyrics and meet a life defining women.  I am freaked out by the thought that it may have taken twenty-seven years to develop a strong identity. I fear I wasted too much time before generating legacy defining characteristics. Despite fear and doubts, I enthusiastically feel that I am moving closer to what I've envisioned.  I want to continuing capturing  fragments of time to help recall joy, euphoria, mistakes and regrets to remind myself that I've always been a unique individual. With all the progression I have made, the last feeling I can have is that time has passed me by.  Fuck Age, it's just a number. 


Music  Jerry Cantrell, Degradtion Trip 

Lyrics and Triggers

I described myself in my mock wikipedia entry as being known for sporadic moods. What an understatement!  In less than twenty-four hours I went from being on the verge of a full fledge depression to feeling optimistic and confident.  My moods have triggers. I experience melancholy from uncertainty or rejection and nostalgia from the mild potential of personal achievement or a good time.  I need to learn to channel manic energy and weather negative feelings. I think both ends of the spectrum are dangerous and unbecoming.   I'm fine with living for the weekend as long as I'm embracing Wednesday. 

    The biggest adjustment I've had to make this year is budgeting money. It's not that I haven't had to budget before but it's the first year I have had to completely support myself without loan assistance. It has cause me a lot of stress and I have had to learn to not let it consume my thought and influence my moods. I was finally starting to do really well until getting temporary laid off.  It cause and unanticipated mini melt down.  I heard Thursday I will get to go back to work soon. Going through this will help me know how to better handle the situation next time.  With all the stress I have endured over the last few weeks, I can't image how I would have reacted if I had units or issue! 

  Finding out about work was my biggest trigger this week. I also started studying for a second bar exam. The thought of the mental high I will get after passing and the opening of a new market for job exploration provided the potential of achievement I mentioned above.  Furthermore, Alice in Chains posted concerts in the Carolinas the weekend after I sit for the exam. Mini vacation! Plus, it's looking better that I will finally get to go to London in 2010. The combination of these events has given me a renewed sense of enthusiasm.  I hope the thought of this future excitement carries over to everyday easiness.  

   Lastly, I was having a lot of conversation about rock music last night.(like always) I know I'll never be a musician but I have the ability to write some pretty awesome lyrics.  I may post a few samples in the next few weeks. 

The Story of Anvil

  I have been hearing about this documentary called "The Story of Anvil" for several months.  It revolves around this Canadian rock band that has been trying burst into the mainstream for thirty years.   I finally watched it today. Unemployment has given me the opportunity catch up on things I haven't had the opportunity to do that last couple months.  Holy Fuck!  I was actually in a state of euphoria after watching it.  Maybe I can use this as a catalyst to kick start my lacking ambition. 

  One thing I've never lacked until recently is motivation. I've always had an internal driving force. It can be dangerous because I often become overly obsessive with one thing and neglect other important matters.  I have a good idea of its origination but I haven't yet explored it.  I hope I will during this round of sole searching.   Recently, I have felt helpless and defeated. Fuck that right?  Despite its potential negativity, over doing something is better than giving up.  I have too many questions and no answers. The guys in this band had a drive that lasted over thirty years. I'm already down and I just started.  I hope this documentary can help me derive some inspiration.  It's too early for this shit. 

    I am envious of charismatic people.  I am a colorful person but I never give that impression to an audience. It's usually reserved for just a few people. I can't be charismatic on stage, in a classroom or at bar. I am too shy and self conscious.  The main character named "Lips"  in this documentary was extremely charismatic. I know some people are just naturally this way. However, I think his appeal was more than just his ability to draw people to him. His optimistic outlook and internal drive made him even more appealing.  I know I've possessed the drive but how do I obtain the optimism?  I don't want to live vicariously. I think developing a sense of optimism would help me overcome being self conscious.   It's just so damn hard and scary to do alone.  Fuck.  

   

   

Mike Wikipedia

After wikipediaing thirteen different people tonight, I narcissistically decided to write my own proposal for a wikipedia entry. Since Wikipedia is edited by its users, feel free to add comments below and I will add them to the entry. This might just catch on as the next "25 things."

Michael Jonathan Christopher (born April 21, 1982), known as "Coretez" is an American attorney, agnostic, liberal, cynical writer and rock music fanatic. He currently resides in Charlotte, North Carolina. He is best know for his cynical humor, sporadic moods and nomadic lifestyle. His trademark appearance includes a bald head, tattoos and black clothing.

Biography-
Christopher was born in Akron, OH and raised in a small community known as Lake Township, Mike is the youngest of three children. Based on the age difference between Mike and his siblings, its has been speculated he was a "pleasant surprise."


Teenage Years-
Christopher's teenage years were spent participating in team sports, playing air guitar and self gratifying himself to Skinamax. (Cite needed) He enjoyed mild success as an athlete, participating on school basketball and football teams.
In 1994, Christopher scored 39 points against Alliance State Street in a middle school basketball game. Christopher credits the inspiration he derived from Pantera albums and legendary coach Rich Hale for his performance. The same year he placed on the middle school top five athletic performer's list, despite speculation he cheated on the pull-up portion of the fitness test. The following year, Christopher along with teammates Steve and Ryan set the New Philadelphia regional tournament team high jump record, a feat that has yet been broken. (Cite really needed) In 1997, Christopher individually won a sixteen team gym badminton tournament.

Christopher along with long time friends Steve and Todd formed the acapella hip-hop group "Boney Boloney" in 1998. Their song list included cover tracks from Bones Thugs and Harmony and The Backstreet Boys. Although a reunion tour has been rumored, there has been no indication of plans as of late 2009.

Christopher was nicknamed "Coretez" in or around 1996. This name was given to him by close friend Brian to be used as a future professional wrestling stage name. The nickname Coretez later spun a secondary nickname*, "CMFC," and together they became synonymous with his edgy persona of the mid 2000s. (T.L) While living in Columbus, OH in the early 2000s, Christopher was also given the nickname Mike W. K. , a tribute to cult rocker, Andrew W.K. He is still referred to by all three names.

2000-2004
Christopher first attended college at Mount Union College in Alliance, OH. Christopher has been quoted as saying,"The year I spent in Alliance, OH stunted my social growth. However, religion classes helped me learn about all religions, accept everyones own beliefs and steer away from ever conforming to any particular religion." Christopher would later become a First Amendment advocate.

He spent the next three years in Columbus, OH at The Ohio State University. Plagued with self doubt, Christopher spent the majority of these years obsessively working out with weights, even participating in a bodybuilding competition in 2003. After one show, he retired from competitive athletics to focus on other interest.

Hyatt Hotel Controversy
In 2002, Christopher obtained mild notoriety as a Valet Parker at The Columbus Hyatt on Capital Square . He was named employee of the month and later earned the title of "Shift Supervisor." He parted ways with the Hyatt in 2004. Christopher has publicly stated he was forced out by management when the Hyatt contracted with a new client to service its valet stand. Hyatt management has repeatedly refused to comment.

2005-2008
In late 2004 and early 2005, Christopher's physical appearance began to change dramatically. Rumors surfaced that Christopher had developed a drug addiction. He lost a drastic amount of weight and became more heavily tattooed. This rumor was later proven false. He had merely begun to focus on academics, progressive thinking and self exploration. In a 2009 interview, Christopher said, " I never discovered my true self until I was twenty-three years old and finding it saved my life." During this time period he earned a law degree while splitting time in East Lansing, MI and Cleveland, OH. These years later became known as the 'Motley Years".

*CMFC-Crazy Mother Fucking Coretez 

Sunday night wind down.

  November 15, 2009 

I am not going to write a lot or edit tonight. I have remained busy since I last wrote on Friday.  Keeping up on this blog is important but I will gladly sacrifice a few words for a jamming weekend. I finally had a vintage Coretez Saturday night. I stayed out till last call and I was completely happy drunk.  I went to a birthday party of a few friends. I saw a lot of people I work with. It was very comforting talking to them.  It only took about two minutes of conversation to get the sense that everyone has the same sense of confusion and distain that I am experiencing.  In the last few weeks, I have probably heard five people say getting a law degree seems like such a hugh mistake. I actually heard someone say they are embarrassed to tell people they are a lawyer.  I thought I was the only person that has this feeling.  In hindsight, maybe it wasn't the best idea. However, my law degree is one of the proudest accomplishments.  It was vindication for all the years I spent falling short of my own expectation.  No matter how bleak the job market, no one can take away my fucking degree. 

    I got my skinny ass back out there this week.  Yes, I actually hit on a women while I was out. I still have aspirations of a few scenario  coming to fruition but unless that happens, I need to be proactive.  Lately I have felt inferior. I know I've always had a bit of an inferiority complex and the recent shitstorm to hit my life made it worse.  This girl looked a lot like Christina Ricci, my biggest celebrity crush that is loosely connected to the title of this blog. I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass by. She ended up bailing after about two minutes but nevertheless it felt pretty good to have some confidence back.  It carried over today and I hope it will help motivate me this week. 

  I've been reading this Andre Agassi autobiography and I am really relating to it. I'll have time to think out a blog tomorrow and I want to address a few of those things. Until then. M  

   

 Music: Van Halen, Balance and The Best of Both Worlds 

Fight night fright.

    It's been a few years since I looked forward to Friday night. The last year and a half in Charlotte has been fulfilling on many levels but a weekend social life has been absent.  The nights with the few girls I've dated and concerts I attended were entertaining but that's all I've really enjoyed. I always envisioned Friday night at a bar like Merlotte's on Tru Blood. A place to go with familiar people and mysterious possibilities.  

    Minus the guilt and hangovers, the summer I moved from Michigan to Cleveland was the last time I throughly enjoyed myself socially. It was a motley. I didn't have false aspirations of a domestic life nor was I overly self conscious. A series of mistakes and a law degree reverted me back to the place I spent my first 23 years. It's time I seriously evaluate my situation. I am too young to not look forward to the weekend. 

12 years of tattoos

Hey girls, please don't remove those sexy lower back tattoos or touch those beautiful arm sleeves. Guys, keep the barbed wire armband and demon heads. Tattoos are a great representation of specific time period in our lives and our overall journey. It doesn't matter if you consider your tattoo to be a fad, a rebellious act or a form of self expression. Having the fortitude to live in the moment and express your feelings artistically is an incredible. Tattooing doesn't have to serve a specific purpose. I always get asked what my tattoos mean? I can never give a definitive answer because each tattoo's meaning changes over time. Every individual's tattoo has its own unique everlasting story. Every tattoo cannot have lifelong intense philosophical meaning but they all can have great history. They may have one meaning when they were inked that will likely evolve with age and maturity. People aren't going to have the same mottos, creeds or perspective through their lifetime. They evolve just like ink. Tattooing will always be a part of my persona. It starting with a fad tattoo I inked on my leg and it has moved on to the elaborate city skyline on my back. They are my favorite form of self expression. I was first inked at sixteen and I will be tattooed again after my twenty-eighth birthday. Surprisingly over the past 12 years I haven't been asked much if I regret being inked. I'm sure it has been mentioned amongst others, but it was rarely expressed to me. I've questioned several decision as a mid twenty-some but ink is not one of them. I first got tattooed for shock value and to follow trends. Like the actual ink, the act's meaning has evolved too. I see tattooing as both therapeutic and spiritual. I can distinctively remember every person I spent a tattoo session with. I consider it an ultimate bonding act. Is this too deep and or reading too much into it? I don't think so. I try never to be critical of anyones ink, their motivation for getting tattooed or their overall experience. I highly recommend tattooing and I hope to continue to embrace friend's experiences and to share my own.

Pill Mistake

   Almost a year ago a close friend of mine told me that I don't have the personality of a lawyer. I couldn't have agreed more. My gimmick has always been the anti attorney. Immune from kissing bosses asses and sucking corporate cock. I loved law but cherished my persona more. I never wanted this profession to become my identity. I planned to continue getting tattooed, listening to rock music and dating alternative women. I never wanted a girlfriend that would enjoy going to a company golf  outing. This is likely b/c I don't know that I will ever enjoy going to these bullshit events. 

   I've had a lot of time to think the last two weeks after getting laid off.  Is there a career that would let me be myself?  Was going to law school a mistake? What would I be doing if I didn't go? Are there people in this profession with similar characteristics that I just haven't met?  I can't become an artist or a musician b/c I don't have the raw talent. I can't leave this profession before it even starts. Plus I have way to much debt to even consider it.  Will I learn to love being an attorney once the job market stabilizes and I start working a job closer to the one I desire?  Too many questions for me to dissect today. 

  I felt like complete shit yesterday. My blog entry last night makes that apparent.  I blamed it on coming off a rough week. I was lethargic and unmotivated.  I took a nap only a few hours after waking up. This is very uncharacteristic of me, even after fighting off a mini depression.  Yes, this had a lot to do with it but being hopped up on muscles relaxers didn't help.  

  No, I haven't decided to hit the pills yet!  I had a handful of muscles relaxers left over from back spasms I had several months ago.  For some reason, I thought it was a good idea to consolidate prescription bottles. I mixed the muscle relaxers in a bottle with a daily prescription. I took all the daily meds and subsequently refilled the bottle. When I ran out of the refill,  I I still had pills left in the old bottle. I didn't remember mixing the MRs and I just thought I refilled the medication before the others were completely out. 

   Well,  I wasn't tired, lethargic or in need of a nap today. I felt much better. I still spent time contemplating my job, dating life and ultimate existence but at least I wasn't tired and loopy. 

  On a side note, I tried the Wii fit today. Pretty cool. Who needs to spend $50 bucks a month to workout at a gym with a bunch of meatheads anyway? 

  

Back in a funk

   I'm over the mini depression I was suffering through but I've lost motivation.  I feel mostly numb. I'd almost rather feel depressed b/c at least I would feel something. I call this feeling a funk. Funks always occur immediately after I have hit a low.  I've been through 2 or 3 this year and I desperately need to find the quickest way out of them. 

   I didn't leave the house today.  I couldn't write and I didn't pick up the guitar.   I never get out of funks without external stimulus.  I had a funk that lasted several month last winter. It ended after I got called for an interview with the Mecklenburg DA's office. I need internal motivation rather than an external circumstance. I can't wait around several months for a phone call.   My Dad encouraged me to get out of the house.  I know exploration is going to help me regain motivation and confidence but its very difficult for me to do by myself.  

     I forced myself yesterday to ride out to the tattoo parlor in Mooresville.  The guy I have tattooing for me has a six month wait list so I needed to set appointment. I will get Ohio bar results on May 31. I made the appointment for May 6th.   I want to make sure I don't have any plans in Charlotte after the 31st on the off chance I get a job in Ohio immediately after I get the results.  Outside of driving there,  I haven't done much except listen to bar lectures the last two days. I started to write a facebook entry on tattooing but it didn't go well.  I wanted to intelligently convey that tattooing should represent the time period of your life rather than have some deep lifelong meaning.   Tomorrow morning I plan to ride to the bookstore to buy the Andre Agassi autobiography and work this facebook entry.  At night I have the semi final in my tennis league. I'll check back in tomorrow, hopefully with more to write and feeling better. 

Unemployment, Week 2

  I  don't have a theme to write about today.  I haven't had anything to write about on Facebook lately so I am hoping writing down my current thoughts will get my creativity flowing. This is the first journal writing I have ever done.  I still am up in the air about how much I want to publish. I don't anticipate having a big audience but I don't quite feel right writing about anyone in particular that may be reading. 

   I didn't want to start with a lot of negativity. Over the last year and half I have made a lot of progress mentally and it doesn't seem right to start out while I am low. Nevertheless, I hope getting these negative thoughts out there will help me get back on track. 

   I had a horrific week in Ohio. Something triggered a lot of bad feelings. I feel defeated right now. My somber mood makes it easy to perceive others as talking down to me.    I've been extremely hard on myself about not being able to find a permanent job since moving down to Charlotte. When I got laid of last week from my temporary job I felt worse.  After graduation I had so many expectations. Being back in town made me feel like a failure.

  The last day did get much better. I haven't gone into detail and I probably won't publicly about someone I was involved with personally over the six months. I was able to reconnect with this person and I found out some things that made me feel better about the situation.  I am so incredibly hard on myself though that I continue to blame my own behavior and not the outside circumstances that led things in the direction they ended. I hope I am able to start healing quicker now that I partially know the truth. 

  Despite the negativity, I have been able to use my free time to continue to work on my legal career. I submitted all the required Ohio Bar materials and I will sit for it exam in February.  I started listening to lectures on the computer. They're PMBR lectures I have saved from a course I took at C-M. The class was given half way through the last semester and once again at the end of the semester. Being off work is convenient b/c it would now be around half way through the semester at C-M. All the materials are still pretty fresh and I foresee no problems taking and passing the exam. I really hope this opens options up and isn't just a waste of time and money.  Regardless, I don't think it will hurt.  M  


Music: Garbage, Garbage 

The lifer, the returner and the drifter (Director's Cut)

After high school people that grow up in small towns may fall into three groups with subcategories: Lifers, drifters and returners. Everyone heavily or loosely falls into one of these categories that grew up in suburbia.

1. Lifer-

A. The extremist

The extreme lifer is already planning to become a community adult the day after high school graduation. They've already dismissed college or do a semester stint at the local community college. He/she likely will marry the first person they sleep with and spawn children way too early for their own good. The athlete lifer goes to every high school game and establishes personal relationships with their old coaches. Lifers are die hard fans of the state university's football team even though they never attended the college and maybe have never been to the college town. This person can't wait to mortgage a house and commit to unnecessary responsibilities to conform to their perceived community standards.

B. Lifer by necessity

A lifer by necessity doesn't have any ultimate goal after high school. They usually stay close with a group of friends and continue to drink with them regularly for years. They often become regulars at local bars in their twenties. The guys and girls usually end up rotating dating partners or end up fooling around with each member of the group eventually. The guy's main accomplishment is their best fuck and the girls lust over the local badass.  Some of them go to local universities and community colleges but never establish a new group of contacts. The furthest the lifer by necessity has traveled is to Myrtle Beach or the closest casino. He/she generally expresses disdain for the community and often says,"I need to get out of this town," even though everybody know they aren't going anywhere.

2. The Returner

A. Major Universities Returners-

This person leaves to an attend a university of college further away in the state or in a close neighboring state but returns home after graduation. He or she may stay in the city they attended school for a few years after graduation but ultimately will return home or near their home. When they return, they often revert to a life style similar to an extreme lifer. This group is likely to marry their college sweethearts. They exact location may be choose based on their proximity to either spouse's home town

B. Traveling Returner-

The traveling returner hatches a plan to live in a major or trendy US City after college. They generally talk obsessively about Chicago or New York and the major advantages of life in The Windy City or The Big Apple. They usually don't last long but the stories of their time in the city are endless. Again, there is a potential to revert to a lifer's lifestyle but  they are more likely to delay making a decisions to marry young or buy a house.

3. The Drifter

A. The Bitter Drifter

Whether it's because of a bad family upbringing or unpleasant childhood experiences, the bitter drifter wants absolutely nothing to do with their hometown. He/she has the wherewithal to leave the town and establish a new life. This drifter doesn't post profiles on social networks and doesn't return home. They are the most likely to chase an often unattainable dream such as becoming an actor or actress.

B. The drifter with ties.

The drifter with ties leaves town and wants everyone to know they have a new wonderful life. He or she will often post status reports boosting about the weather or culture of their new residence. He or she post picture of themselves in places like the Grand Canon, Las Vegas or Europe.  This drifter knows about current issues in their hometown and remain close with people that live in their old town. The guy drifters still face stalk old high school girls, search for bikini pictures and single relationship tags in desperate hopes of a future casual courtship.

Becoming an Athlete

  Day three of unemployment was pretty uneventful. I am enjoying the time off and relaxation but I have too much time to think about my recent struggles.. Whether its good or not, work provides me with an outlet to avoid over analyzing my life. I was able to distract myself playing guitar and fucking around with this blog site today but I thought about the issues I am dealing with way too much.  I tend to think about dating more that I should. I am  extremely hard on myself.  I have the mentality if dating is clicking,  the rest will fall into place. It is likely healthier to first concentrate on work and personal relationship. However, after the year I've had, it's nearly impossible. 

   I have the feeling I am not making an impression on people. I think it goes further than dating.  After three interviews with DA offices and no call backs, except courtesy  rejection call,  its hard to not look at my impressionability. Its easy to blame the economy professionally or a women's life situation personally but its easier to blame myself. 

   I went on a date last week and for the first time since my summer debacle, I felt good about it. Lately, it's being hard to find anyone in the same place as I am.  I've hit the end of the party days and I am ready to embrace the next step.  I really respect someone that is also ready to explore other facets of their life.  I felt this person was there. I don't know if there was potential for a dating relationship but I felt I had at least found someone to befriend in Charlotte . We actually made plans to hang out again that night. We talked via texted the day after. Imagine the disappointment when I was totally ignored after trying to make plans to hang out a few days later? 

   This seems to be happening all the time. I am really taking it personally and I am insulted by it.  I know that everyone has their ideal personality and level of attractiveness but I feel that I have earned the right to not be ignored. Doesn't someone with a strong personality deserve that amount of respect? I'm not the type of person to shake it off and move on easily.  Every time I pick myself up these occurrences weight a little heavier the next time. I feel I need a positive experience to start moving back in the right direction. M 

Do I ever make an impression?

  Day three of unemployment was pretty uneventful. I am enjoying the time off and relaxation but I have too much time to think about my recent struggles.. Whether its good or not, work provides me with an outlet to avoid over analyzing my life. I was able to distract myself playing guitar and fucking around with this blog site today but I thought about the issues I am dealing with way too much.  I tend to think about dating more that I should. I've been extremely hard on myself more than usual lately.  I have the mentality if dating is clicking,  the rest will fall into place. It is likely healthier to first concentrate on work and personal relationship. However, after the year I've had, it's nearly impossible. 

   I have the feeling I am not making an impression on people. I think it goes further than dating.  After three interviews with DA offices and no call backs, except courtesy rejections,  its hard to not look at my impressionability. Its easy to blame the economy professionally or a women's life situation personally but its easier to blame myself. 

   I went on a date last week and for the first time since my summer debacle, I felt good about it. Lately, it's being hard to find anyone in the same place as I am.  I've hit the end of the party days and I am ready to embrace the next step.  I really respect someone that is also ready to explore other facets of their life.  I felt this person was there. I don't know if there was potential for a dating relationship but I felt I had at least found someone to befriend in Charlotte . We actually made plans to hang out again that night. We talked via texted the day after. Imagine the disappointment when I was totally ignored after trying to make plans to hang out a few days later? 

   This seems to be happening all the time. I am really taking it personally and I am insulted by it.  I know that everyone has their ideal personality and level of attractiveness but I feel that I have earned the right to not be ignored. Doesn't someone with a strong personality deserve that amount of respect? I'm not the type of person to shake it off and move on easily.  Every time I pick myself up from these occurrences, they weigh a little heavier the next time. I feel I need a positive experience to start moving back in the right direction badly. M 

Introduction

    This is the indefinite home for my blog until I start my own website. I have the intention of starting a website in 2010 once I develop some sort of concept outside of a blog.  The writing I do here is going to be different from the facebook notes I have been posting. I will post the facebook notes on here but not vice versa.  It will be more narrative, raw and unedited.  Admittedly, I am not very good grammatical writer or at minimum a work in progress. When I write knowing I have an audience of at least two, it takes a lot of effort on my part to articulate what I am saying and to make it sound educated. Oddly, I think professional legal writing is easier. 

    The logic behind posting a more personal and opinionated blog on a blog website is there isn't a built in audience.  There isn't going to be a link starting anyone in the face when they glare at their home page. I figure that anyone that visits this site will be genuinely interested in my life and what I am saying.  I won't have to worry about offending Susie and that I went to high school that really doesn't care or relate to anything I am saying. I always felt a little self conscious about writing personal introspective material knowing that some shallow person would be reading it and judging me based on it alone.  This will change that! 

   For the first and only time I will apologize for misspelled words, grammatical error, slang ect.... Anyone who comes across this and really cares that much can go fuck themselves anyway.  Lastly, I generally avoid touchy subject, mainly religion and politics on Facebook. I won't be censoring subject matter on here. I plan to call out religious nuts and political incompetents. 

  The tentative title for the blog is Overcoming Wednesday. I think it will likely stick because the phrase has a lot of meaning in my battle to conquer mental health and mature as an adult.   I will provide a complete explanation for this title in a subsequent entry.  Thanks for being on board.  Maybe, Ill work on a catchy sign off phrase, but for now its just Take Care.  M 

Written: November 5, 2009 

Album: Boston, Greatest Hits 

My Recession has ended

Today marked a monumental moment in my progression into adulthood. At around 11 Am, I purchased luggage at the JT Maxx on South Boulevard. (Anyone who read my first note knows that my lack of luggage resulted in the questioning my quarter life existence). To my dismay, no sirens, bells, whistles or strobe lights were presents to signify the moment. However, this seems to be the climax from my assent from my lowest point of 2009. I declare this moments the end of my personal recession.
In July, I was plagued with job insecurity, dating woes, questionable friendships and a seemingly downward spiral into quarter-life. I nearly conceded to failure in Charlotte by abandoning my apartment and moving a truckload of furniture to Cleveland. Although I am planning on sitting for the Ohio Bar Exam in February, if I don't land a gig in my field by the November deadline, I have a very optimistic outlook on the potential of remaining in Charlotte indefinitely.
The Buddha observed four signs of suffering that led to his quest for inner peace: A sick man, A corpse, an old fuck and an ascetic. I am admittedly years away from obtaining a sense of enlightenment but I did observe three sights today that may prove the possibility of tranquillity on earth or at least in South Charlotte

1. A smile from the Hispanic women at Dunkin Donuts.
What a rarely to actually get a sincere smile from a quick service employee. It wasn't a fake half grin like I get from most workers at Starbucks or a sigh of annoyance I usually get when I ask for a side of honey mustard at Burger King. It felt genuine.
I like to think she was acknowledging my youthful appearance but I honestly think this women was appreciative of her employment and potentially at peace with herself. The twinkle in her eye and her imperfect smile really gave me a warm feeling inside. Who knows, maybe she is just incredible at customer service. Regardless, I may make that DD my coffee stop of choice. I never thought a simple smile could have such a positive effect on my day.

2. A teenager gave high sign when I let him merge into traffic-
Every generation says the youth of America is ruining society. From drugs to sex to earrings and tattoos. I am not sure what will define this upcoming generation but after today, I know they will make an impact on American History. Barack wasn't wasting his breath earlier this week addressing our youth. A lesser teen might have just nodded. The raising of the hand might represent the passing of the torch to a new generation of respectively Yoots.

3. A man gave a courtesy jog while I was crossing in front of TJ Maxx-
Noting is worse than a man or women who takes their time walking from the parking lot into a store. They obviously know we are waiting for them. The nerve of those who don't even acknowledge our existent. I would accept a wave from an elder, a cripple and even a man or women with bad knees. However, I feel that an able bodied person should pick up their pace of at least give that illusion when a car is impeding upon them at a store or cross walk. Maybe this is just a small act of sincerity. Or maybe, just maybe this little extra effort can save this county billions of dollars on health care by reducing the number of fat asses on our streets! Hmmmm, maybe a topic for my next note!

Written: September 12, 2009

The Expectation of the Sunday Paper

There is a legend that developed in Cleveland, OH in the 1960s. A group of twenty-some men are hanging out early Friday evening on W. 25th Street. Overwhelmed with excitement over the impending night, one male says to the others, "I am going to get laid today." This comment prompts the quick response from another male, who proclaims, "You're going to be reading The Plain Dealer". This is a popular phrase used among young Clevelanders that signifies a man reading the newspaper Sunday morning by himself without female companionship. To modernize the phrase, one might say, "You're going to be reading www.Cleveland.com".

Remember Pee Wee from Porky's? He was always overanxious about the potential of popping his cherry. Pee Wee's sexual conquest always ended in an inevitable failure. This note is not meant in literal sense of having sex or getting "laid," but for exceptional and often unattainable expectation I have for dates, nights or other persons. Hollywood has diluted our minds with romantic comedies, corky endings and porno sex. It's all ignorant bliss. I often visualize what I want someone to represent and I become disappointed when they're completely different. I have always conceptualized my idea of the perfect night. It is usually ends up being wishful thinking because of the unpredictable nature of people. People's reaction and opinion to my persona is likely completely different from their expectations. I have no control over their perception and this lack of uncertainty prays on my insecurity. No matter how I try to rationalize their bahavior, its hard not to take it personally.

When a night is planned with the expectation of perfection, disappointment is inevitable, just like with Pee Wee's fate. As I have ascended through my twenties, I've slowly began to learn to lighten my expectations. If I had my way, every hour of everyday would be planned. It's a chore as a type A personality to accept and cherish each day and to not be overly disappointed by adverse outcomes. I was extremely disappointed that I didn't have plans for Halloween Eve. The night ended with great uplifting conversations with friends and relatives. This ended up being just as fulfilling as any other plans I might have had. In hindsight, I should never had been disappointed from the beginning.

New years Eve is the ultimate day of high expectations and inevitable disappointment. A night filled with Champagne, ecstasy and new beginnings. I remember being young and having the best nights on New Year's Eve. It was one of my first experiences with the freedom to let go. Every subsequent year I began chasing that same experience. It is like a heroin addict chasing their first high. The only way to overcome disappointment is to become free of wild expectation. This turns a random Wednesday in September into the most memorable night of the year and a casual date into romance.



Written November 1, 2009
Music: The Cranberries, No Need to Argue
Johnny Cash, American IV: The Man Comes Around

Lets get married..... In five years

Marriage is one of my favorite subjects. It's probably because I know how much opinions of the institution differ. I hope this blog doesn't scare any women away! There is always the possibility I'll change my views as I continue to evolve or I'll get married blitzed on intoxicants my next trip to Las Vegas.

I partially drafted this last year after I reentered the dating pool after a brief detour. I kept most of my original observations because I still carry the same opinions I held last year.
I first noticed engagements ring towards the end of college. Much like the scene in Superman when Superman uses X-ray vision to check Louis Lane's lungs, I've developed laser vision for ring fingers. The number of diamond rocks dramatically increased in law school. If I only I got paid every time I said, "fuck, she has a ring." However, it doesn't matter how many people decide to get married during the time period I am living. I will continue to ignore societal pressure and make decisions based on the progression of personal maturity and comfort. I sometimes analysis marriage more like a contract attorney and less like a hopeless romantic. I'm not on a quest to live the life of a super bachelor. If I get married, I desire to make the decision based on logic and not pure emotion.
A lingering question in many twenty-some conversation I've been involved in: Will I get married? I really don't think this a question that must hang over our heads. My views on marriage and family tend to be liberal and consistent. I've said I will not get engaged until I've dated someone for five years. When making a supposed life decision, why rush? Despite the fact I say this in jest, I don't think it's such a bad measure of time to establish emotional, social and financial maturity. I know other people can make this decision at an accelerated rate. I'm not sure I have that ability.
I often internalize how I've socially matured. What if would have married a person I dated in college or post college? These persons did not know I would become an opinionated, cynical and a liberal junkie. I think it would taken at least a few years or them to decide if they could put up with my stubborn ass. How about ten years ago? Holy shit! I was still creeping girls out on AOL, slamming coney dogs and growing sideburns. In five more year, I will be more grown even more. The progression is indefinite. It's the reason I do not believe in making a quick life decision. Hell, it even took me two weeks to decide to buy a new leather jacket and I still don't regret rationalizing that decision.
I spoke with a 31 year old friend (Oct. 2009) at a coffee shop regarding dating in our later twenties and early thirties. He asked if I thought he missed his window of opportunity. Without hesitation, I said no. Partially joking, I told him to focus on single moms, divorcees and younger women. For some odd reason this comment prompted a dirty look from a lady sitting near our table. In reality, I don't believe this is a bad idea. Unless your not a kids person, then the single Mom option isn't the best choice. I don't believe this friend should feel he missed out. I would say the majority of my friends in their late twenties and early thirties are single. I haven't noticed any social stigma attached to them or anyone whispering. Granted, I do hang out socially with many married people. Mainly because of the difference in our lifestyles. The friends I have that have been with their partners for long periods seem to be doing fine. A quick google search of marriage trends and age correlation statistics would likely show people are waiting longer. There will always be single people. All the girls in Sex and the City were approaching their forties. (so I've been told)


Written: October 21, 2009 

An Introspective Moment

The goal I had when I started publishing these notes was originally to share the awkward observations I have as a mid-twenty some. Over the past several months it as developed into a means of opening up and overcoming my imperfections. To boot, it has opened up dialog between myself and friends I would not get to speak with often. Writing has provided an outlet that I can use to start embracing myself rather than living vicariously through others. I won't turn this into a therapy session but it's very fulfilling. I realize it's less entertaining than my quirky writing bits. However, I receive more satisfaction writing introspective thoughts despite highly enjoying writing comedically.

There are instances Ihave said embarrassing things and committed regretful actions. I often don't let myself live them down. I will continue to make mistakes. I hope expressing these previously suppressed felling will help me overcome these regretful moments and help to not dwell as much on the upcoming ones. I think people that cannot admit their issues are less than authentic. Its essential to my identity to be forward with mine. I learn from channelling highs and embracing lows. I find it impossible to remain emotionless despite trying way too much. Maybe I wear a lot of black clothes as a way of hiding it but It's right there for anyone to see. It brings color to my personality. It feels amazing to tell the world how I feel but yet is more satisfying to wait for the perfect moment. I have not never been able to quite figure out the correct timing.

I must consciously recognize the moments that I need to channel emotional energy. I'm the poker player with great hand and a giganticsmile . There are moments when this is acceptable but it can be detrimental professional and in developing relationships. It's probably not a good idea to tell someone I just met what I am feeling. That is scary. It can also be hurtful professionally, especially as an attorney A recent example is the reaction I had after getting an interview with the District Attorney's office. The nostalgia I possessed could have been felt in Ohio. Unfortunately, it brought weeks of questions I was not ready to answer. I'm an anxious type A. It's hard for me to sit on good news and hold back on bad news. However, I know it's an essential trait I need to develop as an adult.

Thanks for reading! It's my intention to never to talk about anyone specifically and speak in generalities. Its very hard because I don't always have people to share specific stories with. I'll try my best to keep facebook notes neutral and write personal things privately. I applaud the people that recently wrote me to share their own stories. Keep them coming.

Written: October 27, 2009

The lifer, the returner and the drifter (part 3)

Growing up in a hometown setting may cause someone to fall into three groups with subcategories I have developed: Lifers, drifters and returners. Everyone
may heavily, loosely or not even fall into one of these categories. I am definitely a hybrid in the drifter subcategories. Please take this with a grain of salt and for comedic value.

1. Lifer-
A. The extremist
The extreme lifer sometimes is planning to become a community adult the day after high school graduation. They've may have decided college isn't for them or may try a semester stint at the local community college while they are figuring things out. He/she may marry the first person they sleep with and be less promiscuous than drifters and returners. They also spawn children earlier. The athlete lifer goes to every high school game and establishes personal relationships with their old coaches. Lifers are usually die hard fans of the state university's football team even though they don't have personal ties to the college and maybe have never been to the college town. This person might mortgage a house and commit to community standard responsibilities at an accelerated rate compared to their counterparts.

B. Lifer by necessity
A lifer by necessity doesn't possess a solid life plan early in their life and may have more of a take life as it comes attitude. They may stay close with a group of friends and continue to drink with them regularly for years. They may become regulars at local bars in their twenties. The guys and girls can end up rotating dating partners or end up fooling around with each member of the group before they marry. (or after) The guy's are proud of their best fuck and the girls lust over the local bad ass. Some of them go to local universities and community colleges but remain closest to their home town friends. The furthest the lifer by necessity has often traveled is to Myrtle Beach or the closest casino. He/she may expresses disdain for the community and often says "I need to get out of this town", even though they know they may not be going anywhere.

2. The Returner
A. Major Universities Returners-
This person leaves to a attend a university of college further away in the state or in a close neighboring state but returns home after graduation. He or she may stay in the city they attended school for a few years after graduation but ultimately may return home or near. When they return, they often revert to a life style similar to an extreme lifer. This group is most likely to marry a college sweethearts. Their exact location may be chosen based on their proximity to either spouse's home town.

B. Traveling Returner-
The traveling returner hatches a plan to live in a major or trendy US city after college. They may talk obsessively about Chicago or New York and the major advantages of life in The Windy City or The Big Apple. They might live in the city for a short time but their big city stories are endless. Again, there is a potential to revert to a lifer's ways but they may be more likely to delay making a decision to marry young or buy a house.

3. The Drifter
A. The Bitter Drifter
Whether it's because of unpleasant social experiences, the bitter drifter wants absolutely nothing to do with their hometown. He/she has the wherewithal to leave the the town and establish a new life. This drifter doesn't post profiles on social networks and doesn't return home. They are the most likely to chase dreams such as becoming an actor or actress.

B. The drifter with ties.
The drifter with ties leaves town and wants everyone to know they have a new wonderful life. He or she may post status reports boosting about the weather or culture of their new residence. He or she might post picture of themselves in places like the Grand Canon, Las Vegas or Europe. Their favorite activities often include "sushi" and hiking. This drifter knows about current issues in their hometown and remain close with people that live there. The guy drifters still face stalk old high school and college girls, search for bikini pictures and single relationship tags in desperate hopes of a future casual courtship. (hmmm)..


Written: October 15, 2009 

Lets do it for society, Part 1

Suburbia
I have absolutely nothing against the town where I grew up. It has provided me with great memories and lasting friendships. A lot of my family and friends have stayed there over the years and greatly enjoy their lives. The others I still have contact with seem content with their decisions. I couldn't be happier for them. I always hated when someone would say, "I need to get out of Ohio". Changing our enviroment alone doesn't change our outlook on life. However, I feel people need to get out of Ohio, North Carolina or Whereverville and explore. I believe if one is going to remain in a small town indefinitely, it is healthy to venture outside of the town, surrounding suburbs, state and country by moving or traveling and begin learning about the world outside from more than what he/she learns on their plasma television.
I feel I am behind the curve in social development. My knowledge of domestic and international culture is the equivalent of an eighteen year old. I am writing to express my feeling that growing up in a sheltered environment curbed my knowledge of culture, ethnicity, geography and general street education. I realize hindsight is supposedly 20/20, but I feel my sight was blurred by the distorted image of false suburban dreams.
I flew to Las Vegas last Wednesday and naturally I had to pick up the Delta publication to read on the fight into Clark County. Despite, its desperate attempt to get customers amped to book their next flight via Delta, I found myself drawn to an article about natural and man made wonders. I felt dumb and uncultured when I realized I didn't know the majority of these structures and wonders or their geographical location. In a previous note, I expressed how important I felt my experience in Cleveland has been on my development as an adult. The years 2005-2008 merely began a major infatuation I have developed for city life and urban culture.
I believe I should have been introduced to more than a suburban existence much earlier. There is a major correlation between the lack of exploration in my upbringing and my developed appreciation for American and worldly culture. Yes, I could have been a better student and I could have took a stand for myself. However, I partially blame suburban society for stressing importance on wrong ideals, concepts and activities. (I will explore this deeper in part 2). I feel suburban parents need to stop pushing year round sports and ACT scores and start embracing self expression, exploration and acceptance.
I am not blaming anyone in particular for my regrets as a teenager and young adult. The last thing I would want to imply I blame anyone in particular for not introducing me to the world outside of Uniontown, OH and vacation America. It's my opinion, the naive vision of a suburban dream brought on by an over zealous community is a major factor in stunting my growth as an individual.

Part 2-Coming soon 


Written: October 3, 2009 

It's my Vision.. (part 2 of series)

I have a vision of the world and how I want to progress in life mentally, socially and professionally. I feel this vision is more unique and different from any other. For years I thought this was the only acceptable vision, not just for me but for everyone. I thought this vision was so beatifically crafted that it was superior. I admittedly have had a difficult time accepting other's opinions. There are obvious examples such as theology, politics, music, and relationships but it goes deeper. It takes effort on my part everyday to get closer to a place where I find other's ideals more acceptable. I now realize my vision is unique and expanding but not superior to any other.
I can't really put this vision into words but it's a sociological and psychological mixture that has been individually tailored to my life. I don't believe that two people share the same vision. Nor do I believe an entire community can share an identical vision. I tend to relate to and often befriend those that have a similar vision. The more I experienced, the broader my vision becomes. Without consciously making the decision to explore myself and life outside of the small region I grew up in, I don't think my vision would be as enhanced as it is today. If I don't explore life outside of Charlotte and the small area I live and work, my vision could once again become narrow. My self exploration has resulted in many nights questioning my self worth. However, I don't think I will ever question my journey.
Small communities can distort our visions by instilling social norms that are acceptable in that region. It's easy to believe that one school of thought is the correct when its the only one that is taught. Its complicated to accept others for their ethnicity or sexual orientation if you are only surrounded by people who look and act like you. I say fuck white flight and hatred. I grew up resentful and not comfortable in my own skin because I thought sports were the only way that I could fit in with other people. I developed a false sense of inferiority because of the mass amount of pressure I put on myself. I feel my vision would be greatly expanded by further exploring self expression and culture at a younger age.
Living in a small community did not halt my growth but it significantly delayed it. I also partially blame myself for being naive. I spent twenty years thinking I was going to be some sort superstar and I didn't take the time to become cultured. I can only speak from my own experiences and what others share with me. I'm not trying to change the world or instill my beliefs on anybody. I just think encouraging independence and questioning everything we are taught will help everyone expand their own vision. If these concepts were introduced in my brain earlier, my vision and acceptance of other opinions would be stronger.
This will be the most introspective note in the the small town society trilogy. For the series, I have abstained from fart, dick and 69 jokes but I promise they're coming soon! 


Written October 11, 2009

The insignificant significant

I would like thank everyone for the great feedback I have received since beginning to write these "notes". I really appreciate the people who have contacted me privately with suggestions and for my personal well being.
I've had several notes in a row that may have came off cynical, so I've decided to make this entry more upbeat and even sentimental. Contrary to what my Dad says, I'm not always a cynical little prick.
Thanks to a suggestion, I thought I would simply write a note that is the exact opposite of my last. Hence, the insignificant significant. These are five moment is my life that I gave zero point zero significance to when they occurred but over the years have had great impacton my life.

I. Frequent visits to Tremont (1982-1995)
When my Grandmother passed just prior to law school beginning at Cleveland-Marshall in 2006, I had the opportunity to live in the century home lived in by three generations of my family. (me being the fourth). The house was full of family history. It wasn't a bad party crib either!I have lived in several different cities and neighborhoods over the past several years, none of which had the rich history ofTremont in Cleveland. The frequent trips my family took to this house seemed very insignificant growing up. At a young age I couldn't appreciate the history and culture of the neighborhood. At that point, I thought Uniontown was a pretty cool place. ha. I never thought the tours of old neighborhood would turn into the place I most identify with as a young adult. I didn't know about the neighborhoods large Eastern European influence, a hugh part of my heritage. I never comprehended the history behind the West Side Market and many other landmarks in the area. I have developed an unbelievably great admiration for Cleveland. If it wasn't for the gray skies, large amounts of snow and non existent industry, I would have never left!

II. College and Law School Commencement (2004, 2008)
I remember thinking in 2004, do I really need to go to commencement? It seems like a hugh waste of time. I'll go out to the horseshoe, sit out in the blazing sun and listen to a speaker that I am likely to forget about in a few days. I thought this would be a rather insignificant but it has turned out to be the most memorable day I had at OSU. It was definitely the most significant moment I had at Ohio Stadium. Well, commencement and nearly getting arrested for alledgedly attempting steal a fold out chair and a hot dog sign asfreshman. Oddly, I sat in the vicinity of three or four students that I graduated with at Lake. Pretty crazy considering 30,000 other students graduated the same day. It is true that I forgot who gave the commencement speach. I don't remember where I went to dinner afterwards and I missed the playing of the Alma Mater because I was getting a soft pretzel from the concession stand. However, I can't imagine how regretful I would have been if I did not attend. This should never had made this list b/c I should have seen the significance while it occured. When I grauduated for law school, missing commencement never crossed mind.

III. George Carlin, Back in New York (mid 1990's)
This girl I was talking to last week had the nerve to tell me it was sad that I considered George Carlin as one of my biggest influences. The first George Carlin special I ever watched was Live in NY. In this act, he talked about stuff I could relate to at 13, such as the airline safety lecture bit and common everyday occurrences that happen all the time and no one generally talks about. However, it was this first HBO special that turned me on to Carlin's act and career. His life story is fascinating and his act is legendary. I've heard a good stand up comedian can generally develop a solid hour of material in their entire career. George Carlin did it every couple of years. His observations on the flaws of religion, politics and the "pusification" of American culture are a direct influence of my political satire and distaste for certain institutions. His dick and fart jokes aren't that bad either. Any given day, I am likely to reference George Carlin's stand up. The Seinfeld Show and The Stern Show are the only other shows or acts that I can say this about. I had the privilege of seeing Carlin on my birthday my sophomore year at Ohio State. Awesome. Shit, Piss, Cunt, Fuck. Cocksucker, Mother Fucker and Tits. And I didn't forget about turd, fart and twat. RIP George

IV. Getting hired at The Hyatt on Capital Square- (2002)
Getting a college job seemed like a pretty insignificant moment. It wasn't like I had landed a job at Caesar's Palace. I got a job parking cars!! However, The Hyatt was my first job working in the city. City and urban living as become very important to me. Over the two years I was there, I did drive a lot of awesome cars. I met Jerry Springer and Ric Flair. I got to see Arnold up close shortly after he became the governor of California. Jim Courier, Christina Augulara, Justin Timberlake, The USA Soccer Team. It was all pretty cool but seeing famous people wasn't what was significant. It was the crazy work ethic I developed. I was named employee of the month after my second month, a major award! I was promoted to shift manager shortly there after. Im sure, I missed some good times in college while I working my ass off. However, I do not think I would have been prepared for the vigor of law school or have developed the crazy discipline I have if it wasn't for the Hyatt. When I went back to Columbus in 07, it was actually the only place I went back to visit. I never imagined that parking cars would had such a postive impact on my career.


V. Religion 101 @ Mount Union
Mount Union! If one good thing came out my experience there, it was that I became a great student and am independent thinker. I should have learned this somewhere else and I never should have spent the ridiculous high tuition at Mount, but that is another story. Liberal Arts Colleges have awesome prereq courses. I figured it would take the entire college experience as a whole to enhance my worldly knowledge. I never anticipated that one class would change my entire theological prospective. Religion 101 with Ivory Lyons taught me to start questioning everything. Before, taking this class, I had never learned to explore alternative view points nor did I know that by doing so, it would help develop my own. I actually considered myself Christian at one point. (yes, it's true!!) Religion 101 helped learn about all religions, accept everyones own beliefs and steer away from ever conforming to any particular religion. It allowed me to open my mind up and take an objective approach to viewing any subject or situation. This was one class that was well worth 500 bucks a credit hour! I can't say that about flag football! 


Written: September 7, 2009 

The bit of the week

Ten notes into my new blog and I am finally feeling I am developing my own writing style. I really wish that I would have stuck with writing facebook notes in law school. I wonder how far this could have progressed? Of course I can say that about guitar playing and tennis. These activities have developed into my main interest and hobbies but I feel I am well behind.
In the next few notes I am going to try different formats to try to entertain and help evolve my writing style. Today, I will start with a positive aspect in my life. I feel writing some good things that have happened recently will help in taking a more optimistic view on life. Of course, who doesn't like to brag a bit too? I'm basically taking what everyone does in their status updates and transferring it into a note. Secondly, I will write about something that is bothering me in hopes of finding a remedy and getting feedback from others. Lastly, I will write the bit of the week. This is what I have already been doing. I will be taking life situations and applying them to my thoughts and experiences. I'm really trying develop a style that breaks away from my Seinfeld and Carlin influence. This will likely be the hardest, so if you read this, bare with me.


The last two and half months have been equivalent to life on the road, even though I have remained in the same town. Its been an adventure. I've managed to bounce around from house sitting for friends, to a relative's house, to hotels. Someone said to me and I cant even remember who, "you really need to find your own place". Well no shit!! Stability is always nice. I really dislike when people state the obvious. I feel the last 2 1/2 months has helped me build major character. If I wanted to commit to a mediocre job in a field I don't want to work in, I would have never left my apartment in NODA. I am very proud of my persistence and I feel I will look back on this time as a major progression into the next phase of my life.


Why does it always seem that women decide to turn on guys for no apparent reason? I heard Maxwell says this recently. I don't feel that I am making a generalization. It seems to starts in middle school or around the beginning of adolescence. Two girls will be friends and then suddenly turn on each other and stop associating. As adults. it still happens. I feel I am very mild tempered, considerate and loyal. Over the past year alone, I've been turned on for seemingly small occurrences of nothing at all! I have becoming better at looking past imperfections and seeing people for who they are. However, I feel my imperfections are what I am judged by and my good qualities are overlooked. Maybe, I am looking for too much positive reinforcement or I am just associating myself with the wrong people. It takes someone with a strong character to possess these traits. I really hope that I am developing them. This is passive aggressive behavior at its worst.
I would love to hear a female perspective.


I am a type A with the excepting of organization. Some of these view points may seem extreme and of course I would entertain view points less anal than mine. Recently, I have been late for view different appointments. Some minor and in particular, one major. I was so disappointed in myself that it bothered me for several days. Tardiness is unacceptable. If somebody showed up late to a job interview they would likely not get the job. When I schedule a date, tennis match or get together, I am extremely annoyed when the other person shows up late. I would expect at minimum a call or text with an explanation. The concept of being fashionable late is ridiculous. I am one of the people that shows up at party on time. If I have a party that starts at 7, I meant for the party to start at 7 not 7:30 or 8. These are a few common social situations and what I feel should be the proper time etiquette.


Job interview- 5-10 minutes early. Make sure you know the location of the office building and parking before arriving. Be there early, even if it means sitting in the parking for a few extra minutes. Don't show up at the office too early and sit in the lobby for a half hour. I am sure this makes everyone feel a bit uncomfortable.


Sporting Event- In seat 10 minutes before kickoff or tip. In tennis, show up while the players are warming up. If there is a fly by, make sure you are in your seat with time to spare. Be in your seats before the national anthem. If a Canadian team is playing, don't miss OH Canada. Never walk in front of someone at the beginning of the event.


Date- Both men and women are required to show up 3-5 minutes prior. This applies to both meeting someone at their house or in public. I don't believe in making someone wait as some sort of dating chess move. Save that for text messages and phone calls please.


Office Meeting-10 minutes early. Only less depending on the flexibility of attending the meeting. Leave enough time to drink coffee and bullshit.


Party- On time. 


Written September 19, 2009