Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Relationship Guru

   Today I realized I am three months removed my latest relationship.  I would think that would be plenty of time to regroup and begin dating yet I am completely apathetic to the process.   Three years ago I was an avid and ambitious dater and an unmotivated and timid attorney. Now, I am an aggressive and prolific attorney and completely uninterested in dating. My priories have flip-flopped.  I have met some intelligent, cultured and candid women but I remain uninterested in them romantically.  I know that I am not homosexual. I have regrets in my last relations but I am not jaded. I am career driven but able to step aside from work to enjoy life. So what's the problem?  Self-diagnosis- On a much need break after four straight years of relatively continuous courtships. 
 My current  lack of dating interest is not without advantages.  In the last three months I have began to view relationships objectively.  I can observe relationships without instantly comparing them to my own. It is easy to accomplish this feat not consumed by my own co-habitation and not bias from my own sense of relationship superiority.  I had become egocentric in my relationship, and viewed other couples in a subjective and unfounded moral vacuum. Furthermore, with clear eyes, I am able to analyze what I want out of my next relationship, even if I am not ready to practically apply these skills. 
   Having this view gives me the ability to confidently give others advise as I observe their situations from the outside looking in. I can emphatically self-title myself a relationship guru. I admit I am currently comparable to the person that writes a relationship book but has been divorced three times, only on a much smaller scale.   I've been in this similar situation before but I continue to find it difficult to apply the principals I have learned as a casual observer in my own life.  In the past, I would jump into situations without any conscious consideration for long term ramifications. I admit to being disappointed in my lack of interest in dating but I hope that it can be both an advantageous and profound adventure.  Maybe it is the much needed break I need to finally get over the personal mistakes I have previous made.


Tuesday, June 21, 2011


   I spent April 2011 aghast to what had transpired in a relatively short amount of time.  S and I in the first four months of the year had attended a fine southern wedding on the Charleston Harbor, ate Conch on the shores of Bahamas and explored the history of General Oglethorpe in Savannah.  It was shocking how abruptly it ended and I would be lying if I said I didn't shed quite a few tears. We spent a few weeks in our apartment together in Charlotte before I left. This provided the necessary closure that I required to verify leaving was the right decision. Although my instinct would have been to stay and fight, I could tell any effort would have been futile.   I knew the moment I packed my things that life was transcending once again.

  Breaking up with S was without a doubt the catalyst for returning to Ohio. I had been flirting with the idea for the last year and I always knew it was my best prospect.  I spent years blaming location for my shortcomings.  I needed Charlotte to discover myself, gain confidence and discover that there was no person, place or thing to blame for my internal struggles.  I was the only person that ever held me back from realizing my potential.  I had many kinks I had accumulated over the years that simply needed worked out.   My growth in Charlotte was verified on the last night I spent with my friends and colleagues in Charlotte.  (Future blog)

Bells and whistles didn't go off when I returned home to Akron/Canton but the instant warm reception I received was advantageous.  The level of familiarity was comforting and the warmth I felt from being with my family once again was intoxicating.  No one cared or asked why I left Charlotte. I don't think it would have matter if I left broke and destitute with my tail between my legs.   My friends and family recognized immediately that I had matured, overcame my demons and was back home to explore my potential.   They were happy I was back and I  knew I had made the right decision.