Saturday, October 29, 2011

Call me Coretez

In or around 1996 I was given the nickname “Coretez.” It is essentially a combination of my favorite album of my early teens “Core” and “Tez” was later added by my friend Brian to sound “cool”. At 14, I was convinced I was going to be a WWE (formally WWF) wrestler, and Coretez was going to be my stage name. Fast forward fifteen years and I no longer possess any desire to be a professional wrestler and the album “Core” hasn’t been digitally transferred onto my Iphone (albeit I have had a lifelong bro-crush on Scott Weiland) However, at the age of 29, my friends still call me Coretez. (Still known in some circles as “CMFC” or Crazy Mother F***ing Coretez, despite the fact my crazy streak has long dissipated)

I was floating down a river with nine of my best buddies a few weeks ago, perched in the captain’s seat, approaching a stage 4 rapid when I heard someone yell “Yeahhh Coretez.” I was overcome with adrenaline, shaking off a hangover with a therapeutic dose of cold water and basking in the moment of what would become one of the best weekends of my life. You may think it sounds immature and sophomoric that I am twenty-nine and still get a kick out of hearing someone referred to me by my childhood nickname. At that moment and I as sit here today, I perceive it as being symbolic of a bond I have spent over half of life developing. As trivial as it may sound, being called Coretez has been one of the most endearing experiences of being home.

The first time S heard one of my friends refer to me as Coretez, she made a two tiered comment that should have raised a major red flag. Tier 1: (paraphrasing) I am never going to call you Coretez. Tier 2: (paraphrasing) That’s Stupid. I agreed with her on statement one. Over the years my friends earned the right to call me Coretez and I would not expect or desire a girl I just recently started dating to call me by a nickname. Now statement two is another story and prefaced our entire relationship. Of course me being naïve and desperate at the time brushed these early signs off. Stupid? Why would I deem it meaningless being told a nickname that has been a major part of my life and friendships for over a decade was stupid?

This moment was the inception of a time period in which I circumvented my own wishes, desires and interest and began to conform to another person’s lifestyle. When you spend an entire relationship trying to make someone else happy and neglect your own life, failure is unavoidable. This blog is never about putting anyone down, including my ex girlfriend. There were plenty of great things that came out of our relationship, including an array of personal growth that I will be forever grateful. My life would never have transcended into where it has arrived now without it. However, in retrospect, it was statements like the one above that should have tipped me off that I was not the person S was looking for and vice versa.

I consistently have a conversation with people about women that try to change men. I know men do this as well; I just think it’s more obvious with women. I have been extremely guilty of this behavior. It’s much easier to find someone out there and simply try to get them to conform to your lifestyle than to actually find someone that already possesses your desired characteristics. I am back out in the dating world now and it’s an absolute bitch. It’s tempting to hastily jump into a situation based on factors such as attraction, lust and boredom. Unfortunately when you acquiesce to these temptations, you will ultimately end up on the internet writing a blog and posting Facebook statutes updates with regularity (*cough cough) or in a failed or doomed relationship.

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