Friday, October 21, 2011

I love Charlotte!

Preface- I will reedit this blog entry soon. I’m in a hurry to publish this b/c I’ve been keeping these feelings hidden for way too long already.

I admit that I have much easier time writing when I am in a bad mood. Writing in a somber state comes easy and helps my introspective feelings come to life. I have trouble formulating quality thoughts and opinions when I am in a blissful mood. Over the last several months I have been unable to write because I’ve consistently been in a great spirits. Moving back home has helped me reinvent myself, rejuvenate my life and turn me into an optimist. It may take me a few blog entries but I am ready to explore and convey these emotions. My thoughts may come across as being sporadic and even disingenuous at first but please hang with me.

I am ready to talk about Charlotte, my ex girlfriend and moving back home. Although I speak so highly of my return to Akron, I owe this auspicious moment to my three beautiful years in Charlotte. Charlotte was wonderful and I consider it the greatest learning and growing experience of my life. My friendships were the best I’ve even experienced with the exception of the people I grew up with in Lake Township. My friend Jen was the catalyst to my career and happiness. Richard became my best friend and introduced me to a world I was unaware existed. He is directly responsible for helping me appreciate my heritage and getting my ass overseas for the first of many times. Meredith picked me up when I was at my lowest and helped weather a potential depressive pejorative meltdown. Stephanie, as shitty as things ended prepared me for my next kick ass relationship and to be an awesome and supportive boyfriend, whenever that may happen. Rob will always be one of my closest friends and has always helped me to realize my potential as a human being. I can’t even begin to tell you how much my Aunt Darcee supported me mentally as well as my financial well-being. Hudson, Mecklenburg County and the attorneys I met prepared me to become a professional and diligent attorney. It saddens me to know I may never see some of these people again.

I left Charlotte on May 31s t,, days after having an amazing going away party (pictures on Facebook) and two separate dinners given to me my best friends. S never said goodbye, but I forgive her, as I expect she had her reasons. At my going away party, Jen told me how much she had seen me grow over the past several years. Thinking about that conversation gives me chills. Meredith drove all the way from Maryland just to say goodbye for maybe the last time. I can only hope I expressed my appreciation for her friendship as I owe her more than she will ever realize. A few days later, Richard and Karen had me over for a true southern dinner. We spoke about Charlotte, their wedding in Charleston and Richard and my trip to London. I felt like I was with people that deeply cared for me, and I really cared for them. Rob and Jane had me over for the last time several days later. Rob and I have had the same mutual respect since college. There was no sappy goodbye but I feel that we both still miss each other.

The thought that I could be a grateful son, a supportive sibling and a support friend were once just a mere fantasy. I spent so much time in my twenties working through desperation and depression. I was overwhelmed by feelings of confusion and helplessness, not knowing that happiness existed. I didn’t understand that I wasn’t alone. We all work through our shit, some publically and some privately. It’s nearly impossible even see the importance of developing relationships when you are so overwhelmed by our own struggles. I feel that I needed to handle my situation by leaving Ohio and finding my own way in Charlotte. I am lucky enough to have picked the most advantageous time to move home. I only hope that I can help support my friends and family the way the people of Charlotte guided me. I am far from finished exploring how much they meant to me, but for today, I will merely say thank you. I love you all.


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