Saturday, April 21, 2012

This is 30.

Cheers to the best decade of my life...

Although, I have no immediate plan to make this the best blog I have ever written. I woke up, drank coffee, checked Facebook and texted with a few friends this morning. A normal Saturday.  There was not a helicopter flying over Akron with a banner praising my successes. Nor were there two strippers on each side of my bed, cocaine dust on the table or a fancy car parked in the front yard. The only human contact I had last night was a remedial conversation with a French guy I met on the Internet. Five years ago, I would have viewed last night as a disappointing night. Less than epic equaled failure. Today, my perspective has changed. Growing up is fun. 

Do I feel  different? Am I supposed to feel a sense of urgency? Maybe a burning need or desire to run off and have children. I don't.   I may have biologically turned 30 today but I feel more alive and lucid than ever before.   I have allowed age to become my best attribute.  I've avoided taking the approach that I missed out on life opportunities, I might be behind the curve but I am catching up hastily.  I have made friends and shared experiences with people that I would never have accepted in my life 10 years ago. It does not matter that it took this long, only that it happened. 

In my twenties,  I battled angst, uncertainty and depression.  I simply could not get past myself and my personal struggles. It was not until I began this blog that my creativity began to blossom and a began a new appreciation of the world. I realize that my potential is limitless. So what if it took 30 years to formulate this perception.  I have arrived now. I know people that have never escape their life hindering limitations.  Do I have life figured out? No. However,  I am elated to now enjoy living it. 

How to celebrate the day? Luckily it falls on the day of the Lake Reverse Raffle. Roe is coming to celebrate tonight. This year would not be possible without him. Brian, Steve and Jesse will be there. My family and many of the people that stuck with my through darker days. Knowing how bad of a person I once was, it's really unbelievable that some of these people still embrace my presence. How easy it would have been just to tell me to "fuck off".  What or who else could I need? When I returned to Akron, I did not think it would be permanent and I have no idea how long this will last. I am still unclear. However, if it ends soon,  I will forever be grateful for today. 


  1. I think this is a perfect way of looking at 30! Everyone I know looks at 30 in terms of what they're not doing or what they don't have, instead of looking at it as what they DO have and where they're headed. I enjoyed this post! :)