When I moved from Ohio to North Carolina in 2008, I was extremely unhappy. The sporadic dismal moments I experience today are not close in comparison to my feelings in 2008. My sense of what was important in life was heavily distorted. I was disappointed in the relationships I had developed and saddened by my inability to commence new ones. I had become bitter and bored. I wanted excitement from a new source and I made the mistake of not seeking bliss with any particular strategy. I failed to address the problems I was having and merely transferred them to another time and place. Luckily, with the help of some amazing people, I was to work on issues in Charlotte and begin the fix the problems I had taken South.
What brings us back? What brings us back to Akron/Canton, Ohio? We have all said that we need to leave this area. I left Ohio in 2008. Many of us have left and returned. (Me again). Has anyone really thought about why we all say that we need to leave? It is always easy to identify the obvious scapegoats that in reality are not real reason anyone should leave. The weather is too cold, the economy is rubbish and the people scumbags, just to name a few. Maybe it's our broken dreams or that the routines that we have conjured up over time have led us to questions our self worth. Maybe it's generational, television or our insatiable taste for the unknown.
There are many reasons we leave but a simple answer to why we return. There is nothing dreadful about this place nor is there anything extraordinary. I have no doubt that inspiration can be found all around but it's not the most advantageous place to discover it. There are literally hundreds of more desirable places all over the world that anyone of us have the unique ability to inhabit. It's familiarity. Familiarity breeds comfort. When I was lost and didn't know what direction to turn in 2011, familiarity brought me back to Akron/Canton. Does familiarity equal satisfaction? I soon realized that familiarity was a short term fix. Comfort does not equal fulfillment in my life. It's once again left me in a state of disarray.
It would be easy to leave again and take on a new mistress but I desire stability too.
I will ultimately settle in one place for a very long time. Unfortunately, I cannot live a life of a gypsy because of the high amount of bills I now possess. Everyday I ask myself if the familiarity and comfort of Akron/Canton is enough to keep me here indefinitely. As I have traveled to several different erotic and historic places over the last three years, my answer is unequivocally no. Nevertheless, another move must be made for the right reason. I want to find the one places that has all the factors I need to achieve happiness or at least satisfaction. However, as I write today, I am not in the position to tell you that place. I will not leave here without making the right decision for the right reason. This show is not going on the road without proper planning this time. I will listen to my heart, abide by my brain and avoid influence by all societal agendas.
One Life One World.