Monday, March 12, 2012

Am I writer?

The inspiration I needed. The positive reinforcement I desired. A sense of validation. It is everything I say I don't need but it ends up being the driving force behind many of these blogs. Months pass. I fail to produce a legible sentence. Is it writer's block? I envy writers. Pushing through everyday even when words do not freely flow, without yielding to wondering thoughts and not letting temptations conquer. Am I writer or just a someone that needs an audience? Do I need to extend out to those I can't reach in person? Are these characteristics of a writer? The beginning of excellence? Desperation? Does it matter?

I would like write more but don't want to write strictly for other people's reactions. It would be easy to not publish these post. I love the feeling of having someone tell me they enjoy what I write. I saw my “cousin” I haven't seen in years over the weekend. She told me that I what I wrote inspired her. I am still thriving from this comment! Astounded yet not surprised. I know I have certain abilities yet I still feel unworthy. Will these feelings ever subside? Is it a constant struggle? I feel we all have the ability to push ourselves over the curve.

These blogs have helped me get closer to that level. Days before I left Charlotte, I had a dear friend tell me how much she has seen me change over the last few years. How these blogs have helped her develop an entire new opinion and appreciation for me as a person. I am still basking in these comments. So why quit? Disappear? Let the simple every day struggles reduce my brain power and hinder mr creativity? Growth is constant. Not merely the beginning or a end. Progress is achievable. Why quit when I have the ability to change the world. Even if it is only my own. Am I a friend? A relative? A professional? I owe this to myself.

Thanks for reading. Your compliments help me to feel good about what I write but your criticisms will help me become better. Please leave me a comment with any and all suggestions to how I can improve.


  1. I have known you over half my life, and the years are now leaning towards the majority of that being solely through cyberspace due to distance. I love reading blogs (obviously...since I blog) because it gives you insight on a person that you otherwise wouldn't have. Blogging gets the thoughts out of my head and out into reality, where-for better or worse- people can read them. Your blog has DEFINETLY shown me how much you've changed since we were teenagers! ;) write on!

  2. Ironic... :) Your verbiage is inspiring and the creativity never does fail to amaze me. Your words flow together as if a singer writing a song. Yes it is true we read what you write cause you expose us to it, we enjoy it because it is from your heart. Your articulate way with expressing your point of view is both insightful and reflective – for me that is. To think of you 12 years ago… and to see you now – really does just make me smile. Smile for you and hope for me, for the future, really is what we make of it.
    Keep writing, keep growing and most important – Keep being you, cuz!

  3. It has been so long since someone has comment on my post that I almost overlooked these comments. Thank you. You both have inspired me over the years. Jaime, we have developed this mutual "online" respect over the years. We definitely should have hung out more when we had the chance but I am glad we have arrived here. One thing I highly regret is getting so caught up so in my own work that I have forget about all the other creative people out there. I need to catch up on your blog asap. I know it will inspire me.

    Amanda, you inspired me to keep this going. Quite honestly, It would be worth it to me if I knew that you were the only person reading it. I have cherished your opinion since we were kids. It so hard to look your own life from the outside in. I am so hard on myself that I neglect to give my credit. I am thankful to have you as a friend, and cousin!