The inspiration I needed. The positive reinforcement I desired. A sense of validation. It is everything I say I don't need but it ends up being the driving force behind many of these blogs. Months pass. I fail to produce a legible sentence. Is it writer's block? I envy writers. Pushing through everyday even when words do not freely flow, without yielding to wondering thoughts and not letting temptations conquer. Am I writer or just a someone that needs an audience? Do I need to extend out to those I can't reach in person? Are these characteristics of a writer? The beginning of excellence? Desperation? Does it matter?
I would like write more but don't want to write strictly for other people's reactions. It would be easy to not publish these post. I love the feeling of having someone tell me they enjoy what I write. I saw my “cousin” I haven't seen in years over the weekend. She told me that I what I wrote inspired her. I am still thriving from this comment! Astounded yet not surprised. I know I have certain abilities yet I still feel unworthy. Will these feelings ever subside? Is it a constant struggle? I feel we all have the ability to push ourselves over the curve.
These blogs have helped me get closer to that level. Days before I left Charlotte, I had a dear friend tell me how much she has seen me change over the last few years. How these blogs have helped her develop an entire new opinion and appreciation for me as a person. I am still basking in these comments. So why quit? Disappear? Let the simple every day struggles reduce my brain power and hinder mr creativity? Growth is constant. Not merely the beginning or a end. Progress is achievable. Why quit when I have the ability to change the world. Even if it is only my own. Am I a friend? A relative? A professional? I owe this to myself.
Thanks for reading. Your compliments help me to feel good about what I write but your criticisms will help me become better. Please leave me a comment with any and all suggestions to how I can improve.