Sunday, March 18, 2012

A new title “Friend”

I just returned from the trip to Chicago I mentioned in my previous blog. It was a long overdue visit to an amazing city that lies a stone throw away from where I grew up and currently live. The city skyline provided the familiar liberating emotions that release endorphins like nothing else quite can do. It's the reason I tattooed a city skyline onto my back.  Interacting with an array of personalities and nationality provided the cultural experience that has been a void in my life lately. Traveling satisfies the emptiness I feel when I stay in one place for an extended period of time. It's a feeling I write about often in this blog.

Shamefully, my life is full of self absorption. I am constantly thinking exclusively about myself and reacting based purely on self interest. My moods are swayed based on my failures and successes. I undeniably spend an inordinate amount off time over analysis my life and devaluing other people's accomplishments. As I write this blog today, it is merely an expressions based solely on my perspective. As part of my recently self exploration, I have started to understand the importance of seeing how others perceive this experience is as equality important as my personal explorations.

I have a wonderful friend that consistently calls and messages me to inquire about my life. He is always interested in what I have been doing, what I am thinking and how I am feeling. I have been selfish for such a long time that it never occurred to me that I rarely inquire into this gentlemen' s life. After taking this weekend trip, he made a point to call me and tell me how wonderful he thinks exploration has been. During this conversation, it became painfully apparent that I have not been extending the same amount of interested in my most my own friend's lives, including his. 

This friend is involved in many other people's affairs as well.  He was many loyal friends and I understand why.  He has an incredible ability to make people feel elated regarding their own circumstances. He can get you talking about seemingly mundane events and make you feel that there is a purpose to them.  He genuinely cares about people and has always put his own life on hold to hear about mine. I have begun to realize that extending an ear to friend can be more rewarding that spewing out of every detail of my own life. 

The best part of this weekend was not the city skyline, the beer, the food or the beautiful women in the city. I was told this weekend by someone that friendship means a tremendous amount to them. It was maybe the first time in my life someone was acknowledged my friendship on this level. Likely because I have never been a real friend. At this moment, I had a lightbulb moment. I discovered why my friend I discussed above derives personal satisfaction from hearing about the lives of others. I really do not want to be the guy that is just waiting for his turn to talk. I've been called an athlete, college graduate, significant other and lawyer. However, friend is now the mostly title I have ever received.  

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