"Insanity"

It has been four months since "Three Guys in a Bar" and the night that changed the trajectory of my life. I can confidently say this was more than just a conversation that motivated me and steamed up emotions momentarily. This night changed my perspective and permanently instilled a belief that I need to rewire my brain if I want become the person I desire. I would love to write today that my life has taken a 180 degree turn and I have extinguished all bad habits. Instant gratification is not practicable. Four months is not enough time to change a lifetime of specific undesired behavior.
I began teaching myself the French language in November. Not coincidentally around the time this conversation took place. I spotted similarities between rewiring and language. I can analogize studying a new language perfectly with my desire to change certain aspects of my own behavior. I desired to learn French and speak it fluently in a matter of months. In four months, I learned a fuckton of vocabulary. I can structure remedial sentences, understand basic dialogue and speak the language like a toddler. However, there is just too much to learn without constant exposure and practice. How do I conjugate verbs to form different tenses? How do I order direct and indirect object pronouns in a sentence?
I am no where near close to perfecting the English language and I have heard it spoke for years and taken advanced writing courses. It's a mind fuck. It's why so many people fail. It's easy to give up and watch sitcoms. Throw in the towel. Learning a new fresh language is difficult. Exposure and practice is essential. It was easy to learn basic English from hearing my parents speak it everyday yet I still needed years of course work to comprehend and control it as a first language. I tried to learn Spanish twice. After years of English mind development, it was too easy to give up. Stay comfortable. Not again.
I understand that changing undesirable human behavior takes as much work as learning a new language. Thwarting off contentment. Developing new ways of presentation in a social situations or different strategies at work or in relationships is not different than figuring out how to conjugate new verbs. Certain verbs are always conjugated in the same manner and nearly every time one can rely on the same basic principals. However, it's the irregular verbs that cause confusion. I'll screw this line up, but I recently heard the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the same result. Well, I think it's time to figure out how to conjugate those irregular verbs.