I have a vision of the world and how I want to progress in life mentally, socially and professionally. I feel this vision is more unique and different from any other. For years I thought this was the only acceptable vision, not just for me but for everyone. I thought this vision was so beatifically crafted that it was superior. I admittedly have had a difficult time accepting other's opinions. There are obvious examples such as theology, politics, music, and relationships but it goes deeper. It takes effort on my part everyday to get closer to a place where I find other's ideals more acceptable. I now realize my vision is unique and expanding but not superior to any other.
I can't really put this vision into words but it's a sociological and psychological mixture that has been individually tailored to my life. I don't believe that two people share the same vision. Nor do I believe an entire community can share an identical vision. I tend to relate to and often befriend those that have a similar vision. The more I experienced, the broader my vision becomes. Without consciously making the decision to explore myself and life outside of the small region I grew up in, I don't think my vision would be as enhanced as it is today. If I don't explore life outside of Charlotte and the small area I live and work, my vision could once again become narrow. My self exploration has resulted in many nights questioning my self worth. However, I don't think I will ever question my journey.
Small communities can distort our visions by instilling social norms that are acceptable in that region. It's easy to believe that one school of thought is the correct when its the only one that is taught. Its complicated to accept others for their ethnicity or sexual orientation if you are only surrounded by people who look and act like you. I say fuck white flight and hatred. I grew up resentful and not comfortable in my own skin because I thought sports were the only way that I could fit in with other people. I developed a false sense of inferiority because of the mass amount of pressure I put on myself. I feel my vision would be greatly expanded by further exploring self expression and culture at a younger age.
Living in a small community did not halt my growth but it significantly delayed it. I also partially blame myself for being naive. I spent twenty years thinking I was going to be some sort superstar and I didn't take the time to become cultured. I can only speak from my own experiences and what others share with me. I'm not trying to change the world or instill my beliefs on anybody. I just think encouraging independence and questioning everything we are taught will help everyone expand their own vision. If these concepts were introduced in my brain earlier, my vision and acceptance of other opinions would be stronger.
This will be the most introspective note in the the small town society trilogy. For the series, I have abstained from fart, dick and 69 jokes but I promise they're coming soon!
Written October 11, 2009