Growing up in a hometown setting may cause someone to fall into three groups with subcategories I have developed: Lifers, drifters and returners. Everyone
may heavily, loosely or not even fall into one of these categories. I am definitely a hybrid in the drifter subcategories. Please take this with a grain of salt and for comedic value.
1. Lifer-
A. The extremist
The extreme lifer sometimes is planning to become a community adult the day after high school graduation. They've may have decided college isn't for them or may try a semester stint at the local community college while they are figuring things out. He/she may marry the first person they sleep with and be less promiscuous than drifters and returners. They also spawn children earlier. The athlete lifer goes to every high school game and establishes personal relationships with their old coaches. Lifers are usually die hard fans of the state university's football team even though they don't have personal ties to the college and maybe have never been to the college town. This person might mortgage a house and commit to community standard responsibilities at an accelerated rate compared to their counterparts.
B. Lifer by necessity
A lifer by necessity doesn't possess a solid life plan early in their life and may have more of a take life as it comes attitude. They may stay close with a group of friends and continue to drink with them regularly for years. They may become regulars at local bars in their twenties. The guys and girls can end up rotating dating partners or end up fooling around with each member of the group before they marry. (or after) The guy's are proud of their best fuck and the girls lust over the local bad ass. Some of them go to local universities and community colleges but remain closest to their home town friends. The furthest the lifer by necessity has often traveled is to Myrtle Beach or the closest casino. He/she may expresses disdain for the community and often says "I need to get out of this town", even though they know they may not be going anywhere.
2. The Returner
A. Major Universities Returners-
This person leaves to a attend a university of college further away in the state or in a close neighboring state but returns home after graduation. He or she may stay in the city they attended school for a few years after graduation but ultimately may return home or near. When they return, they often revert to a life style similar to an extreme lifer. This group is most likely to marry a college sweethearts. Their exact location may be chosen based on their proximity to either spouse's home town.
B. Traveling Returner-
The traveling returner hatches a plan to live in a major or trendy US city after college. They may talk obsessively about Chicago or New York and the major advantages of life in The Windy City or The Big Apple. They might live in the city for a short time but their big city stories are endless. Again, there is a potential to revert to a lifer's ways but they may be more likely to delay making a decision to marry young or buy a house.
3. The Drifter
A. The Bitter Drifter
Whether it's because of unpleasant social experiences, the bitter drifter wants absolutely nothing to do with their hometown. He/she has the wherewithal to leave the the town and establish a new life. This drifter doesn't post profiles on social networks and doesn't return home. They are the most likely to chase dreams such as becoming an actor or actress.
B. The drifter with ties.
The drifter with ties leaves town and wants everyone to know they have a new wonderful life. He or she may post status reports boosting about the weather or culture of their new residence. He or she might post picture of themselves in places like the Grand Canon, Las Vegas or Europe. Their favorite activities often include "sushi" and hiking. This drifter knows about current issues in their hometown and remain close with people that live there. The guy drifters still face stalk old high school and college girls, search for bikini pictures and single relationship tags in desperate hopes of a future casual courtship. (hmmm)..
Written: October 15, 2009
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