Almost a year ago a close friend of mine told me that I don't have the personality of a lawyer. I couldn't have agreed more. My gimmick has always been the anti attorney. Immune from kissing bosses asses and sucking corporate cock. I loved law but cherished my persona more. I never wanted this profession to become my identity. I planned to continue getting tattooed, listening to rock music and dating alternative women. I never wanted a girlfriend that would enjoy going to a company golf outing. This is likely b/c I don't know that I will ever enjoy going to these bullshit events.
I've had a lot of time to think the last two weeks after getting laid off. Is there a career that would let me be myself? Was going to law school a mistake? What would I be doing if I didn't go? Are there people in this profession with similar characteristics that I just haven't met? I can't become an artist or a musician b/c I don't have the raw talent. I can't leave this profession before it even starts. Plus I have way to much debt to even consider it. Will I learn to love being an attorney once the job market stabilizes and I start working a job closer to the one I desire? Too many questions for me to dissect today.
I felt like complete shit yesterday. My blog entry last night makes that apparent. I blamed it on coming off a rough week. I was lethargic and unmotivated. I took a nap only a few hours after waking up. This is very uncharacteristic of me, even after fighting off a mini depression. Yes, this had a lot to do with it but being hopped up on muscles relaxers didn't help.
No, I haven't decided to hit the pills yet! I had a handful of muscles relaxers left over from back spasms I had several months ago. For some reason, I thought it was a good idea to consolidate prescription bottles. I mixed the muscle relaxers in a bottle with a daily prescription. I took all the daily meds and subsequently refilled the bottle. When I ran out of the refill, I I still had pills left in the old bottle. I didn't remember mixing the MRs and I just thought I refilled the medication before the others were completely out.
Well, I wasn't tired, lethargic or in need of a nap today. I felt much better. I still spent time contemplating my job, dating life and ultimate existence but at least I wasn't tired and loopy.
On a side note, I tried the Wii fit today. Pretty cool. Who needs to spend $50 bucks a month to workout at a gym with a bunch of meatheads anyway?