Lyrics and Triggers

I described myself in my mock wikipedia entry as being known for sporadic moods. What an understatement!  In less than twenty-four hours I went from being on the verge of a full fledge depression to feeling optimistic and confident.  My moods have triggers. I experience melancholy from uncertainty or rejection and nostalgia from the mild potential of personal achievement or a good time.  I need to learn to channel manic energy and weather negative feelings. I think both ends of the spectrum are dangerous and unbecoming.   I'm fine with living for the weekend as long as I'm embracing Wednesday. 

    The biggest adjustment I've had to make this year is budgeting money. It's not that I haven't had to budget before but it's the first year I have had to completely support myself without loan assistance. It has cause me a lot of stress and I have had to learn to not let it consume my thought and influence my moods. I was finally starting to do really well until getting temporary laid off.  It cause and unanticipated mini melt down.  I heard Thursday I will get to go back to work soon. Going through this will help me know how to better handle the situation next time.  With all the stress I have endured over the last few weeks, I can't image how I would have reacted if I had units or issue! 

  Finding out about work was my biggest trigger this week. I also started studying for a second bar exam. The thought of the mental high I will get after passing and the opening of a new market for job exploration provided the potential of achievement I mentioned above.  Furthermore, Alice in Chains posted concerts in the Carolinas the weekend after I sit for the exam. Mini vacation! Plus, it's looking better that I will finally get to go to London in 2010. The combination of these events has given me a renewed sense of enthusiasm.  I hope the thought of this future excitement carries over to everyday easiness.  

   Lastly, I was having a lot of conversation about rock music last night.(like always) I know I'll never be a musician but I have the ability to write some pretty awesome lyrics.  I may post a few samples in the next few weeks.