Marriage is one of my favorite subjects. It's probably because I know how much opinions of the institution differ. I hope this blog doesn't scare any women away! There is always the possibility I'll change my views as I continue to evolve or I'll get married blitzed on intoxicants my next trip to Las Vegas.
I partially drafted this last year after I reentered the dating pool after a brief detour. I kept most of my original observations because I still carry the same opinions I held last year.
I first noticed engagements ring towards the end of college. Much like the scene in Superman when Superman uses X-ray vision to check Louis Lane's lungs, I've developed laser vision for ring fingers. The number of diamond rocks dramatically increased in law school. If I only I got paid every time I said, "fuck, she has a ring." However, it doesn't matter how many people decide to get married during the time period I am living. I will continue to ignore societal pressure and make decisions based on the progression of personal maturity and comfort. I sometimes analysis marriage more like a contract attorney and less like a hopeless romantic. I'm not on a quest to live the life of a super bachelor. If I get married, I desire to make the decision based on logic and not pure emotion.
A lingering question in many twenty-some conversation I've been involved in: Will I get married? I really don't think this a question that must hang over our heads. My views on marriage and family tend to be liberal and consistent. I've said I will not get engaged until I've dated someone for five years. When making a supposed life decision, why rush? Despite the fact I say this in jest, I don't think it's such a bad measure of time to establish emotional, social and financial maturity. I know other people can make this decision at an accelerated rate. I'm not sure I have that ability.
I often internalize how I've socially matured. What if would have married a person I dated in college or post college? These persons did not know I would become an opinionated, cynical and a liberal junkie. I think it would taken at least a few years or them to decide if they could put up with my stubborn ass. How about ten years ago? Holy shit! I was still creeping girls out on AOL, slamming coney dogs and growing sideburns. In five more year, I will be more grown even more. The progression is indefinite. It's the reason I do not believe in making a quick life decision. Hell, it even took me two weeks to decide to buy a new leather jacket and I still don't regret rationalizing that decision.
I spoke with a 31 year old friend (Oct. 2009) at a coffee shop regarding dating in our later twenties and early thirties. He asked if I thought he missed his window of opportunity. Without hesitation, I said no. Partially joking, I told him to focus on single moms, divorcees and younger women. For some odd reason this comment prompted a dirty look from a lady sitting near our table. In reality, I don't believe this is a bad idea. Unless your not a kids person, then the single Mom option isn't the best choice. I don't believe this friend should feel he missed out. I would say the majority of my friends in their late twenties and early thirties are single. I haven't noticed any social stigma attached to them or anyone whispering. Granted, I do hang out socially with many married people. Mainly because of the difference in our lifestyles. The friends I have that have been with their partners for long periods seem to be doing fine. A quick google search of marriage trends and age correlation statistics would likely show people are waiting longer. There will always be single people. All the girls in Sex and the City were approaching their forties. (so I've been told)
Written: October 21, 2009